When I was a kid, I wanted to be head of the secret police.
I dreamed of hauling people into my office, for "a little chat between old friends."
I would say, "There are no charges, just some 'ambiguities of behavior' I wish to clarify," and then start going through the man's massive file. The further I'd go, the angrier I'd pretend to get at how they were a "traitor, a collaborator, and a counter-revolutionary," and finish up screaming at them for those offenses, real or imaginary.
I would end the discussion by summoning the guards outside my door to remove the traitor from my presence and subject him or her to the treatment he deserved. Then I'd grab the rubber stamp off my desk to mark his file "deceased" and scribble the reason why: shot while attempting escape, fell down a flight of stairs, fatal heart attack, committed suicide out of remorse.
Now I just want to be a lot more empathetic than I have ever been, seeing how that attitude does nothing good.
You must have a very active imagination to think about such things- mind of the fiction writer.
I also wanted to have unlimited power when I was a kid. It's scary being vulnerable and small, makes you wanna control everything, and instilling fear in others gives us an immediate sense of being in charge.
I didn't fantasize about hurting others though. I thought more about having the power of persuasion which comes from being loved. I guess anything can be used for good or evil, including beauty and truth. I just wanted to be beautiful. So cringe. Now I'm ok with not being in control. It takes faith and confidence, something I didn't have back then.
Actually, I'm writing a "Hunger Games" fan fiction on Fanfiction.com.
It's called "Interview With the Mockingjay," and it's about the adults who are cleaning up Panem AFTER the war is over, not about the overheated teenagers in their love triangle.
However, you are quite right about wanting to have unlimited power when you're a kid and you have none. Kids don't have much power in the first place, and those who are not King Bullies and Queen Bees have even less.
I chuckled when the bully who flung me against a heater in middle school (see my Sub Stack post: Karma Can Catch Up With You In Time) wound up in Attica for repeated grand larceny.
However, I was less amused when the Queen Bee who tormented me became Executive Producer of "The Golden Girls." Now she has vast amounts of money and a wall full of Emmy Awards. I just hope she became a better person and mother. Somehow, I doubt it.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be head of the secret police.
I dreamed of hauling people into my office, for "a little chat between old friends."
I would say, "There are no charges, just some 'ambiguities of behavior' I wish to clarify," and then start going through the man's massive file. The further I'd go, the angrier I'd pretend to get at how they were a "traitor, a collaborator, and a counter-revolutionary," and finish up screaming at them for those offenses, real or imaginary.
I would end the discussion by summoning the guards outside my door to remove the traitor from my presence and subject him or her to the treatment he deserved. Then I'd grab the rubber stamp off my desk to mark his file "deceased" and scribble the reason why: shot while attempting escape, fell down a flight of stairs, fatal heart attack, committed suicide out of remorse.
Now I just want to be a lot more empathetic than I have ever been, seeing how that attitude does nothing good.
You must have a very active imagination to think about such things- mind of the fiction writer.
I also wanted to have unlimited power when I was a kid. It's scary being vulnerable and small, makes you wanna control everything, and instilling fear in others gives us an immediate sense of being in charge.
I didn't fantasize about hurting others though. I thought more about having the power of persuasion which comes from being loved. I guess anything can be used for good or evil, including beauty and truth. I just wanted to be beautiful. So cringe. Now I'm ok with not being in control. It takes faith and confidence, something I didn't have back then.
Thanks for the comment!
Actually, I'm writing a "Hunger Games" fan fiction on Fanfiction.com.
It's called "Interview With the Mockingjay," and it's about the adults who are cleaning up Panem AFTER the war is over, not about the overheated teenagers in their love triangle.
However, you are quite right about wanting to have unlimited power when you're a kid and you have none. Kids don't have much power in the first place, and those who are not King Bullies and Queen Bees have even less.
I chuckled when the bully who flung me against a heater in middle school (see my Sub Stack post: Karma Can Catch Up With You In Time) wound up in Attica for repeated grand larceny.
However, I was less amused when the Queen Bee who tormented me became Executive Producer of "The Golden Girls." Now she has vast amounts of money and a wall full of Emmy Awards. I just hope she became a better person and mother. Somehow, I doubt it.