Wormhole Man
Friday Flash Fiction Funnies
Gary Farmington was an ordinary man who believed that his thoughts were his thoughts.
He worked in accounting for PharmaTech Dynamics, a company whose motto was “Because People Are Expensive.”
He owned twelve sweaters, nine of which were beige. His coworkers forgot he was still alive. So did he.
But Gary had a problem: a chronic itch on the tip of his nose, the kind of itch that made everyone think that he was lying or trying to hide something, or maybe he was just a chronic booger picker and it was a tic.
On October 3rd at 10:17 a.m., Gary blew his nose harder than ever before and that’s when it all changed.
He looked into the tissue and ran screaming down the hallway. What he saw in his tissue was a telepathic, luminescent, coiled entity like in an electric chord, twitching, confused… and afraid. His empathy matched the worm so he jumped out the window in an attempt to escape destruction.
Then it looked up at him.
Then he looked up at himself.
A soundless voice exploded in his mind as his back snapped on the ground
“WE ARE BONDED, GARY FARMINGTON. YOU ARE MY SOULMATE FOREVER.
His heart skipped it's last beat.as the worm crawled back inside his nose to lay it’s love nest.
“YOU ARE THE CHOSEN CONDUIT OF OUR COLLECTIVE SOUL. YOUR DESTINY IS TO UNBLOCK HUMANITY.”
Gary floated inside a wormhole as he passed away through a biofilm between spacetime.
He emerged reborn. Not in body, but in frequency.
Gone was Gary the paper pusher.
In his place: Worm Man.
He woke up wearing a pinstripe suit woven from condensed nasal filaments with a pea green cape that billowed like a sneeze and glowing white glasses that let him see through people’s insides.
Power #1: Psychomucosal Empathy
He can sense feelings through fluctuations in nasal humidity.Power #2: Chrono-Sneeze
He can slow time with a dramatic buildup and sneeze at Mach 7.Power #3: Wormlink
He can psychically communicate with any organism under the influence of the ancient parasitic worm network.Weakness:
Sunshine, Oxygen, Mint, Antiparasitics, Beaurocrats, and Paperwork.
Well…
That's all folks. 🪱💕🪱💕
Thank you for reading Brainbow
💛🧡💙💜♥️🩵
I hope you have a wonderful weekend!